What Are My "I"s?

It appears that qualitative research can be greatly affected by the subjectivity and biases of the researcher behind the work.  As a qualitative researcher just starting out, I will need to explore my subjectivity, my biases, what Peshkin (1988) calls "I"s in his article, "In Search of Subjectivity - One's Own."  For this week's blog entry, the assignment is to explore one's subjective "I"s that could potentially affect future research work.  What follows is my current thinking on what my subjective "I"s are at this moment.

I think I need to start with the fact that I am a teacher at heart.  The "teacher I" is a strong one in that I have been an educator for about a decade now.  It is a career for me, a second one started later in life, but one that I had thought about pursuing since I was much younger.  As a teacher and coach of other teachers, I am sure that my future research will take place in schools and will involve the instruction of teachers and the learning of students for much of the time.  I will most likely want to make sure that the students in a particular study are learning and gleaning as much benefit as possible from the intervention or other work occurring with them.  I will most likely want to make sure that the teachers are instructing to the best of their ability as well so as to maximize student achievement.  Interfering though this way could affect the course of the research, that is unless the effect of such interference happens to be what is under study.

Another "I" to note is what I will call my "social justice or activist I."  This is the "I" that mostly drove me to becoming a teacher in the first place.  It involves my desire to make a difference in the lives of children and to make sure that each and every one receives the best education possible.  It is the reason for where I work (a public school in the South Bronx) and for why I deal with so many difficult issues in a field where the hours are long and the money could be better.  I tend to see what occurs at work through this lens and strive to advocate for students and their families who have very little voice in a vast bureaucratic system that seems to favor the rights of teachers over those who are most in need and who the teachers are employed to help.  I will need to work to keep this lens in check so that I am able to conduct my research without having the process and result be replete with biased judgments about the systemic dysfunction of education as most likely will be shown through the work at hand.  You see of course though that this paragraph alone was full of the very bias I am writing about here!  It will not be easy.

The last "I" of note for this blog entry is my "foster care survivor I."  I spent much of my childhood growing up in two different foster homes.  As a result, I can identify with many of the students with whom I work.  Some live in foster homes, others in shelters of various kinds, and still others are at home with either a single parent or grandparent or other family member/individual who happens to be the primary caregiver.  In general, the lives of these students are difficult.  Resources, financial and otherwise, are meager and consequently, these students have much more to worry about than your average typical student in a similar grade but who grows up in a more stable and plentiful environment.  Again as I work with such students in future research, while I will continue to feel empathy for them, I will need to make sure that this empathy does not cloud what I do or make me treat these students in a way that causes a particular perception of this group or the group of children not a part of this category, a perception that results in a flaw affecting the entire research process.

It is important for me to be aware of these "I"s as well as to be on the lookout for others as I embark on this endeavor to be a qualitative researcher.  By being aware of them from the start, I can strive to make sure that I will bring honesty and openness to the experience and see the participants and course of the study for what it is and not what it appears to be when viewed by my "I"s.