My I's

Peshkin ( 1988 ) asserts that it is important for researchers to identify their own subjectivity as a step to understand how this subjectivity impacts their research. Reflecting on this subjectivity is an ongoing process, as often times our individual circumstances change and what we might identify with at one point in time will likely differ at a future point based on our present situations. So, who am I right now? This is a complex, yet important question for me to keep asking, particularly because I am in a period of huge transition and personal transformation.
After reading Peshkin’s article, there were several of his “I”’s that I connected with. Because I raised in a wonderfully supportive, loving, loyal blue collar family and am the only person in my family to graduate from college, I identify with what Peshkin(1989) calles the “Justice Seeking I” (p.19). I have been lucky to have tremendous opportunities that have provided me with the financial means to pursue several degrees. However, I am acutely aware that not all people are lucky enough to have these same opportunities and so my goal is to do what I can to “level the playing field” . I hope that at the end of this program, my research will improve the lives of students and provide them with the opportunity to excel. I have many ideas about possible literacy outreach programs I would like to implement with students and parents of lower socioeconomic status as well as students who have been identified as having learning disabilities and their families.
The “teacher of students with learning disabilities I” is another separate “I” that also fuses together with the “Justice Seeking I”. I have taught students with language based learning disabilities for ten years and have some pretty strong ideas, some based on personal experience, some on training I have received and all supported by research in the field. During my reading of Peshkin , I laughed as he describes his “Pedagogical Meliorist I”(p.19) and his desire to “remedy bad teaching” thinking to myself as I read and annotated the text with a huge “!!!” that his description perfectly applies to me!
My final “I” is the hardest to admit to as it is the most personal; however, it is the most important for me to acknowledge. I call this the “passionate about my beliefs and/ or (ahem)...the very stubborn I”. I must be really careful to monitor this I because it could very easily turn into “I know all the answers and am always right I”. I am sure that makes me sound like an arrogant, know it-all, but if this is really meant to be an honest reflection, then that needed to be stated.


I see myself as a mixture of all of these I's. Under some circumstances some of these I's are more prevalent than others. But together, they make up a large part of who I am at this moment as a researcher.
So, is this my “final answer” to the question of “who am I”? Absolutely not! This is a question that I will keep asking myself. I am looking forward to seeing how the answer might evolve over the course of this semester.